LET ME.

Maybe you've been in my shoes or maybe this sounds too similar to the situation you're currently facing.

I was searching for answers. I was getting really impatient. I was tired of waiting around. I wasn't content. 

Leaping for the next thing.
Where am I going to move to?
Do I get a job?
Do I go back to school?
Who am I going to live with?
How?
When?
Where?
And my favorite one... What if, Lord?? 

I felt my mind going faster than I could handle. I was over thinking. Over analyzing. I was thinking about all these possibilities and what could happen. My mind was going ten million miles per hour and the whole time His hands were open. He wanted me back to run to HIM, not a wall or worse the world. I felt myself running everywhere except to Him with all these questions I had. I thought I had everything figured out. Or at least, I was trying to figure it all out for myself. 

UNTIL.  

Last night, I FINALLY let go and let God. I released my desires, future, everything to Him. And the same process happened over this morning, then finally my mind was clear to Him. I could feel His presence and guiding in my life. I choose to trust that. The peace that overwhelmed my soul was more than I could ask for. That's when you know God has His hand in your circumstances. He is BIG and He knows. He cares that much to lead you into a beautiful purpose and plan for your life. 

John 14:27  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.
Philippians 4:6-7  do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

My dear friend.

Anita.
Wife.
Mother.
Jesus Follower.
My mentor.

I thank God for her and how much He has and is using her to encourage and inspire me.

I had just become a member of Gateway Church two months before I met Anita. I was a month shy of graduating from college and I needed direction from the Lord. I was trying to learn how to deepen my relationship with God because I felt like there was something missing (that intimacy.) When I met Anita, I was overwhelmed with joy and awe that the Lord had provided me with her! The book that we chose (Discerning the Voice of God by Priscilla Shirer) was so divine because that was exactly what I needed even though I didn’t know exactly why the Lord wanted me to read that book.

I learned the different ways the Lord speaks and how personal He is with me. I learned to hear Him on my own every day and it made the greatest difference in my relationship with Him. I fell in love with God and felt more dependent on Him through the thick and thin in this season of life. Anita was so diligent in guiding me through the book as she shared her thoughts and perspective to me week by week as we studied the book together.

I appreciate her patience with me as I shared with her the events that were happening in my to week to what the Lord had been doing in my family’s lives. I also admire the way that she consistently prayed for me weekly, even while I was sick and my mom was in the hospital. She has spoken life into me and encouraged me more than I could ask for. I desire to grow into the woman that she is so that I can build relational friendships with other women and encourage them the way Anita did with me.  

This is for you my sweet friend. Much love. xoxo

The least I could do.

Abide in Christ. 

As I was sitting with the Lord and basking in His word, I discovered how much He wanted me to draw closer to Him. I understood that obeying Him and His commandments would lead me to His heart. In 1 John 2:8, John writes and says, "He is faithful and just. True to His own nature and promises and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I mean, That's His nature so how come we don't abide? As I was reading this passage, I immediately noticed how many times the word "abide" was mentioned. Abide is mentioned about 5 times in 1 John 1-2. 

In 1 John 2:27 it states that we must abide in (live in, never depart from) Him (being rooted in Him, knit to Him, just as (His anointing has taught you.") AMP Looking at it in a perspective of how God wants us to live, be rooted and knited in Him. I mean, WOW. He wants us to be close to His commandments (word), Heart (worship) and relationship (prayer). That blows my mind because often times I find myself overwhelmed with loneliness. But then the Lord refreshes my memory and shows me His love and His pursuit for my heart. 

Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord!

²     O Lord, hear my voice!
Let your ears be attentive
    to the voice of my pleas for mercy!

³ If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities,
    O Lord, who could stand?
⁴ But with you there is forgiveness,
    that you may be feared.

⁵ I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
    and in his word I hope;
⁶ my soul waits for the Lord
    more than watchmen for the morning,
    more than watchmen for the morning.

⁷ O Israel, hope in the Lord!
    For with the Lord there is steadfast love,
    and with him is plentiful redemption.
⁸ And he will redeem Israel
    from all his iniquities.

Notice how David wasn't afraid to come to the Lord. He knew that the Lord would hear him. He knew that God was BIG enough for His circumstances. All David was concerned with was knowing God's presence. He knew God's Love. Not that Love is God but GOD IS LOVE. How cool is that? And despite his trials, David kept waiting on the Lord. His soul waited. 

That is the kind of mad crazy, romantic, out of this world relationship I desire to have with Jesus. I want to know Him. And getting a glimpse of how much He wants to pursue me is just unreal. 

You are loved. Seek after His word. Listen. Pray and Obey. I promise you, it will change your life. 

I am still a work in process and despite my sinful nature, God still wants my heart. He still wants me to abide in Him. He just says "come, my child and let me." 

that 

is

love. 

So, the least I could do is say Yes, Lord I will listen & obey. 

I leave you with this. Please let this resonate within you.