Poor in Spirit vs. Blessed are those who are poor.

Holy Spirit teach us what it means to be poor in spirit.

I came across this prayer on twitter tonight and it got my spirit churning in a thousand ways. The desire and thirst for Him is so deep in me. He is drilling a well deep down in my heart. All I want is more. Increasing the depths of Him is the ONLY thing I want on this earth. Because He is Holy, Good, nothing can compare to Him, this is my desire.

But in this fast driven world, there are so many distractions keeping us away from God, so this simple yet loaded prayer is so vital because it helps me understand the desperation for Christ. The desperation to KNOW him on an intimate level, to hear Him, to feel His goodness. AH~ my heart. My life.

When I was in Honduras for a mission trip, I read in Matthew 5:3 where it says "Blessed are those who are poor", I understand that these people have nothing, they are the definition of poverty yet they are blessed because they KNOW God. They depend on Him because that's all they have.

Let this resonate with you tonight.

May you realize how poor we are and may your spirit thirst for more of HIM.

Press into Him tonight as you close your eyes and tastes His glory.

no boundaries.

 God has taken me to a new depth of His love this summer. The biggest thing that the Lord showed me was the fact that He is limitless and boundless. There is nothing that can stop Him from establishing what He wants to do through me. He can push me as far as He wants to. But, it's up to me to say yes- even to the unknown and allow Him to carry me through the process. I am excited that He has planted in me gifts that will be used for such a plan as this. My heart is in a posture of surrender knowing that the process isn't easy but it is worth it to see the promise unfold.

the "valley" season.

As I'm sitting here relaxing after a long day of meetings and training, I realize how much God is in control of what He wants to do through me. More than that, I see how He just wants the best for me right now. He never waivers and is always on time to give me exactly what I need. 

After I graduated from college, all I wanted to do was earn a living for myself and support myself. That's it. I just wanted the simple way out. I just wanted to work, earn and live. 

 BUT I had to check myself and realized that I love God and rather be obedient to Him, so I prayed this. 

"God, I love you. Close every door that's not of you and open just the right one. I rather follow you and be on this narrow road than to just do it my way. Heck, I don't even know what I'm doing. I trust You. Spirit just lead me. In Jesus name, Amen." 

So in the course of 5 months, the Lord completely wrecked my heart and showed me His character, daily. Everyday would be something different. One day, He showed me what an amazing Father He is, another day He would discipline me and reel me back to His Word and other days He would simply romance me with His gentleness. He showed me how His character in the word really aligns to who He is to me. He told me to do three things: Pray, obey and be. So I did. As I was learning His character, I began to realize that this whole being obedient thing wasn't fun or easy. Every door that I wanted open, wasn't getting opened. I was failing. Everything. I was trying to fullfill MY will not, His. But God was so quick to remind me of my prayer. I needed surgery fast. I needed a heart change. If anything it was like my lungs were so filthy and useless that the surgeon had to go in and replace it with a new one. And He sure did. 

God was more concerned with building my character and changing my heart than to simply give me a promotion (that's what I was looking for.) I was learning how to love, be patient,  have joy, be gentle, be kind, have self control, be patient and walk in faithfulness and goodness. (gal) AND To walk in justice, humbleness and mercy. (micah 6:8) Don't get me wrong. I am still in this season.  

He shifted the atmosphere of where I was living and moved me back home. Through that, He provided literally EVERYTHING for me. Even more!

 He is currently realigning my priorities, giving me passion and really focusing my gaze on Him, His presence, His word, His people, His church and His will. 

In this time, I know He is keeping me in the valleys and wilderness but in those moments that He exposes my story, my voice, my song. I can't help but to stand at His feet in awe of how perfect His timing is. 

Sister, your time is coming. Your time will come. But in this moment, cherish how Jesus is pursuing you. He longs to know you. This is just a piece of what He has been doing in the course of 6 months. 

 Find your passion but let Him work in you first. It's the most precious gift you could ever ask for. 

His presence.

It has been on my heart to share how much God loves you and wants to draw near to you!

His presence is so thick and tangible once you press in and let Him move. Recently, I was standing  singing and all of a sudden, I found myself in the heaviness and weight of Jesus. His eyes were gleaning right into mine and all I could do was press my heart towards His. At that moment, I realized how much He is pursuing me and how He is in love with me. Did I do anything to deserve this kind of love? None. Zip. Nada. He just loves me not because of who I am but because that's who He is. That's His character. Never in my life have I experienced such love. My eyes watered and couldn't help but to sway towards His hugs. His touch. The weight of His glory is deep, THICK. 

And the LORD said to Moses, "Behold, I come to you in the thick cloud, that the people may hear when I speak with you, and believe you forever." So Moses told the words of the people to the LORD. Exodus 19:9 

His presence is thick and you can't deny it. I am praying right now in the name of Jesus that you experience His presence in such a way that you meet Jesus face to face and you get so overwhelmed that it draws you to yours knees. It will change you forever. 

The Father's love for you

The Father's love for you is great. Big. Mighty. Huge! 

He provides. He guides. He leads. 

He loves. He's persistent. He's Wonderful. 

He's the best dad in the world. He cares. 

He wants you to just press in. Hug Him. Kiss Him. 

Be in relation with Him. Soak up His presence because 

all He wants to do is draw near to your heart. 

Let Him and you will receive an abundant amount in return. 

It's mind blowing. 

to those who wait.

In this season of waiting on the Lord, I have learned 6 things about God.
1. He is faithful. always.
2. He has created YOU for a purpose only YOU can fullfill!
3. He answers prayers
4. He is persistent in pursuing YOU
5. He has a plan for you.
6. He likes surprising His kids

After graduating from college, I have been waiting on God to just give me a break through.  I just wanted Him to drop me in a school and have me teach for the rest of my life. I mean, that's the "easy" way out, right? I would get paid a substantial amount of money and have a job for the rest of my life. But then the Lord reminded me of Himself, His Kingdom, His Word and who would get the Glory out of the activities that I do with my life.
So, I decided to just pray and obey.
As I was walking alongside the Lord, He showed me how much He wanted to fellowship with me. He showed me how much He wanted to hangout with me. He reminded me how He would never leave me in the dust and that He has created me to fullfill a purpose in which only I fullfill. He revealed Himself to me and showed me that He is with me every step of the way. As I was asking for certain qualities such as humility and patience, the Lord answered those prayers and taught me along the way. In that time, He also revealed to me specific gifts He has wired me with. Then, in that specific timing at the right place (home: not what I wanted at all), He opened up opportunities to specifically serve His people and even gave me a job that was MORE than what I imagined. He aligned my path for me. He had His hand in everything and He surprised me. What I got was not what I ever expected.
If you wait on the Lord, He will begin to change what's on the inside before He changes your situations/circumstances.

My prayer is for you to just let Him move.

some quotes.

"My heart’s desire is that everything I do is an overflow. It’s just an expression of my love for Him. I was made to love and be loved."

- Steffany Frizzell

GOD HAS DONE ALL HE CAN TO FILL THE SPACE IN BETWEEN US. AND IF THERE IS ANY SPACE NOW, IT’S BECAUSE I CREATED IT… IT’S BECAUSE I PLACED SOMEONE ELSE THERE."

STEFFANY FRIZZELL

my journey.

believe- [adheres to, trusts in and relies on Him]

I have been going through a season of unbelief. I haven't been adhering, trusting or relying on Christ for everything. I mean, there are things that I've given up but others I quickly take back and try to resolve.
But!
I am deeply overwhelmed by God's patience and love for me. Every time that I turn my eyes away from Him, He brings me back to the promises he has in store for me. Even through the night when it's hard for me to fall asleep or when I wake up in the middle of the night, I feel my bones aligned with the Creator of the Universe. I feel His gentle smile and comfort intensifying in my soul. The Peace that only He can give you is what I know and I choose to know that because it will never leave. He said He would never leave us nor forsake us. So why do I always feel like I'm stranded? Why do I worry? Why do I have these questions when I know God is looking at me with His tender eyes telling me that He has it and with Him ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.
"All my bones shall say, Lord, who is like You, You Who deliver the poor and the afflicted from him who is too strong for him" Psalm 35:10
It is beautiful to see how much the Lord cares for such a wretch like me. I don't have much to give or offer but the Lord sees the beauty in me because He sees the blood of His son on me. I am thankful to be a child of God and not have to worry because my Dad is so amazing. He blesses me, tells me on a daily basis that I am His favorite and gives me gifts in abundancy (John 1:12) when I don't deserve it.
All I can do is lift my hands up in the air with gratitude and thanksgiving for the love that He has lavished upon me.
This is my response. This is to You, my King.

LET ME.

Maybe you've been in my shoes or maybe this sounds too similar to the situation you're currently facing.

I was searching for answers. I was getting really impatient. I was tired of waiting around. I wasn't content. 

Leaping for the next thing.
Where am I going to move to?
Do I get a job?
Do I go back to school?
Who am I going to live with?
How?
When?
Where?
And my favorite one... What if, Lord?? 

I felt my mind going faster than I could handle. I was over thinking. Over analyzing. I was thinking about all these possibilities and what could happen. My mind was going ten million miles per hour and the whole time His hands were open. He wanted me back to run to HIM, not a wall or worse the world. I felt myself running everywhere except to Him with all these questions I had. I thought I had everything figured out. Or at least, I was trying to figure it all out for myself. 

UNTIL.  

Last night, I FINALLY let go and let God. I released my desires, future, everything to Him. And the same process happened over this morning, then finally my mind was clear to Him. I could feel His presence and guiding in my life. I choose to trust that. The peace that overwhelmed my soul was more than I could ask for. That's when you know God has His hand in your circumstances. He is BIG and He knows. He cares that much to lead you into a beautiful purpose and plan for your life. 

John 14:27  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.
Philippians 4:6-7  do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

My dear friend.

Anita.
Wife.
Mother.
Jesus Follower.
My mentor.

I thank God for her and how much He has and is using her to encourage and inspire me.

I had just become a member of Gateway Church two months before I met Anita. I was a month shy of graduating from college and I needed direction from the Lord. I was trying to learn how to deepen my relationship with God because I felt like there was something missing (that intimacy.) When I met Anita, I was overwhelmed with joy and awe that the Lord had provided me with her! The book that we chose (Discerning the Voice of God by Priscilla Shirer) was so divine because that was exactly what I needed even though I didn’t know exactly why the Lord wanted me to read that book.

I learned the different ways the Lord speaks and how personal He is with me. I learned to hear Him on my own every day and it made the greatest difference in my relationship with Him. I fell in love with God and felt more dependent on Him through the thick and thin in this season of life. Anita was so diligent in guiding me through the book as she shared her thoughts and perspective to me week by week as we studied the book together.

I appreciate her patience with me as I shared with her the events that were happening in my to week to what the Lord had been doing in my family’s lives. I also admire the way that she consistently prayed for me weekly, even while I was sick and my mom was in the hospital. She has spoken life into me and encouraged me more than I could ask for. I desire to grow into the woman that she is so that I can build relational friendships with other women and encourage them the way Anita did with me.  

This is for you my sweet friend. Much love. xoxo

The least I could do.

Abide in Christ. 

As I was sitting with the Lord and basking in His word, I discovered how much He wanted me to draw closer to Him. I understood that obeying Him and His commandments would lead me to His heart. In 1 John 2:8, John writes and says, "He is faithful and just. True to His own nature and promises and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I mean, That's His nature so how come we don't abide? As I was reading this passage, I immediately noticed how many times the word "abide" was mentioned. Abide is mentioned about 5 times in 1 John 1-2. 

In 1 John 2:27 it states that we must abide in (live in, never depart from) Him (being rooted in Him, knit to Him, just as (His anointing has taught you.") AMP Looking at it in a perspective of how God wants us to live, be rooted and knited in Him. I mean, WOW. He wants us to be close to His commandments (word), Heart (worship) and relationship (prayer). That blows my mind because often times I find myself overwhelmed with loneliness. But then the Lord refreshes my memory and shows me His love and His pursuit for my heart. 

Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord!

²     O Lord, hear my voice!
Let your ears be attentive
    to the voice of my pleas for mercy!

³ If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities,
    O Lord, who could stand?
⁴ But with you there is forgiveness,
    that you may be feared.

⁵ I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
    and in his word I hope;
⁶ my soul waits for the Lord
    more than watchmen for the morning,
    more than watchmen for the morning.

⁷ O Israel, hope in the Lord!
    For with the Lord there is steadfast love,
    and with him is plentiful redemption.
⁸ And he will redeem Israel
    from all his iniquities.

Notice how David wasn't afraid to come to the Lord. He knew that the Lord would hear him. He knew that God was BIG enough for His circumstances. All David was concerned with was knowing God's presence. He knew God's Love. Not that Love is God but GOD IS LOVE. How cool is that? And despite his trials, David kept waiting on the Lord. His soul waited. 

That is the kind of mad crazy, romantic, out of this world relationship I desire to have with Jesus. I want to know Him. And getting a glimpse of how much He wants to pursue me is just unreal. 

You are loved. Seek after His word. Listen. Pray and Obey. I promise you, it will change your life. 

I am still a work in process and despite my sinful nature, God still wants my heart. He still wants me to abide in Him. He just says "come, my child and let me." 

that 

is

love. 

So, the least I could do is say Yes, Lord I will listen & obey. 

I leave you with this. Please let this resonate within you. 

Worship the King.

We are made to worship. People choose to worship whatever it is, God, money, people, relationships. But, you can't worship two things at once. Worshipping God is having a daily relationship with Him. Telling Him you love Him and hearing Him reciprocate that back to you. It's simply expressing your love to Him whether that be through music, dance, sports, or even simply walking to class. I am going to switch gears and simply talk about worship at church through music. 

I think that sometimes we allow the structure of singing songs overtake us to the point where we're focused on being on pitch and singing the right words rather than focusing on pouring our hearts out to Christ. The atmosphere in our hearts start changing and we feel a rush of emotion over taking us because He is working and stripping away the uglies in our souls. He takes us to a place and when you're in that place you are focused on nothing else except Him. It's in that moment that You taste the goodness of God. The bible says that once you tasted the Spirit, you are forever changed. 

Worship creates intimacy. Every time I close my eyes and worship, I immediately enter in a secret garden of joy and feel an overwhelming sense of love from God. When I am giving Him my love, my voice and declaring to Him how good He is, He immediately holds me and tells me He loves me. That is romance. That's a father telling His princess she is beautiful and worthy. See, once we have an encounter with God in that way, we start trusting Him more. We start wanting to get close and knowing Him more and more. 

God is pursuing YOU. 

My prayer today is that You would get closer to His heart through worship at church. You would understand that He hears You and He knows whether or not Your heart is worshiping Him or not. 

"The heart is deceitful above all thing and beyond cure. Who can understand it?“ I the Lord search the hear and examine the mind to reward each person according to their conduct according to what their deeds deserve.” Jeremiah 17:9-10    

Be still.

Around this time last year, I went to a missions trip informational meeting and we discussed Psalm 46:10 where God says "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." I thought I understood that verse...

until this past weekend happened. 

I have been under the weather for the past few days, and not just your typical cough, flu etc. I mean yes, it could have been a whole lot worse but it was scarlet fever. Mine you, I've never been sick and out for 5 days in a row (even during my elementary schools days!) but man, I was this past week and it couldn't have come at a perfect time. I had tons of things I had planned out for this week but as of right now I haven't started my new job and I already graduated from school so technically my schedule was blank. Blank for the Lord to speak to me. ( I didn't realize that until now..) I was helpless, physically exhausted, drained and all I could really do was to lay still despite my controlling nature. 

As humans, we are wired to plan out our lives, to make our own decisions based on our reasoning and thinking, to do what feels right and then we end up being totally dissatisfied or we end up going down a deadly path of destruction. Sometimes in our spiritual life, I feel like we are always trying to control things without letting God be God and minister to us.  At least for me, I'm always trying to figure out the next step, trying to smart my way around God even in the smallest mundane tasks of everyday life. I'm always trying to be a "big girl", "independent" but in all reality, I have absolutely no idea what is best for me. 

So as I'm trying to scurry my way around and figure out big huge life decision plans, my sweet Dad wanted me to lay down, restore AND show me what I need to do next. And sure enough, He did.  He wanted to regain my trust, take away my doubts and strip me from my dirty ways to show me unfailing, undeniable, everlasting, overwhelming PEACE. 

And most importantly, I learned to let God be God. Knowing that He is Holy, everlasting, healer, omnipresent, creator and He holds my life in His hands. 
He knows what He's doing. I don't. 

So with that being said, I am thankful that the Holy Spirit redeemed me and showed up when I needed Him to. This is a testimony to His grace. 

she is loved by her beloved.

The Lord gave me the title of this blog about a month ago when He showed me in Songs of Solomon.

I didn't understand the fullness of this revelation until recently. 

To anyone who has been through or has felt heartache, depression, hurt, pain, unworthiness, low self-esteem, brokenness or anything else: this is for you. 

When you are left with nothing, God replenishes you. When you feel so discouraged that you can't even get up, He reaches His arm out to you so you can cling on to Him. When you can't even look Him in the eye because you realize how filthy you are, He sweetly smiles at you like you never did anything wrong.

Just like the woman caught in adultery in John chapter 8, we have all sinned and have fallen short of the glory of God. Jesus knew that she was sinful, yet he chose not to condemn her but offered her His grace so that she may have the opportunity to walk with Him in righteousness.

That is love.

The same concept goes for us as well. 

I--yes, I alone--will blot out your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again..(Isaiah 43:25) He just wants us to hold His hand and allow Him to lead us into holiness. That is how much God loves you. 

You are loved by your beloved regardless of your past, your failures and your short comings. 
You are a child of God and He sees you beautiful and worthy. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.  The one who created you in your mother's womb thinks about you more than the grains of sand on the earth. (Psalm 139)

YOU are loved by your beloved. 
Take courage and hope in that.

His, 
M