After I graduated from college, all I wanted to do was earn a living for myself and support myself. That's it. I just wanted the simple way out. I just wanted to work, earn and live.
BUT I had to check myself and realized that I love God and rather be obedient to Him, so I prayed this.
"God, I love you. Close every door that's not of you and open just the right one. I rather follow you and be on this narrow road than to just do it my way. Heck, I don't even know what I'm doing. I trust You. Spirit just lead me. In Jesus name, Amen."
So in the course of 5 months, the Lord completely wrecked my heart and showed me His character, daily. Everyday would be something different. One day, He showed me what an amazing Father He is, another day He would discipline me and reel me back to His Word and other days He would simply romance me with His gentleness. He showed me how His character in the word really aligns to who He is to me. He told me to do three things: Pray, obey and be. So I did. As I was learning His character, I began to realize that this whole being obedient thing wasn't fun or easy. Every door that I wanted open, wasn't getting opened. I was failing. Everything. I was trying to fullfill MY will not, His. But God was so quick to remind me of my prayer. I needed surgery fast. I needed a heart change. If anything it was like my lungs were so filthy and useless that the surgeon had to go in and replace it with a new one. And He sure did.
God was more concerned with building my character and changing my heart than to simply give me a promotion (that's what I was looking for.) I was learning how to love, be patient, have joy, be gentle, be kind, have self control, be patient and walk in faithfulness and goodness. (gal) AND To walk in justice, humbleness and mercy. (micah 6:8) Don't get me wrong. I am still in this season.
He shifted the atmosphere of where I was living and moved me back home. Through that, He provided literally EVERYTHING for me. Even more!
He is currently realigning my priorities, giving me passion and really focusing my gaze on Him, His presence, His word, His people, His church and His will.
In this time, I know He is keeping me in the valleys and wilderness but in those moments that He exposes my story, my voice, my song. I can't help but to stand at His feet in awe of how perfect His timing is.
Sister, your time is coming. Your time will come. But in this moment, cherish how Jesus is pursuing you. He longs to know you. This is just a piece of what He has been doing in the course of 6 months.
Find your passion but let Him work in you first. It's the most precious gift you could ever ask for.
